Sunday, 2 December 2007

Captain Ravi & First Engineer Neer - We're Alive!!

"Testing ... testing ... one-two-three ... pffft ... pfft. Hello ladies & gentlemen. My name is Captain Ravin Labang and welcome to Flight 666 to KL. I'm sure you'll all need a donut and a coffee after that little bit of excitement. We do apologise for the delay. I am assured that the lady is fine. Frostbite sounds far more serious than it is - and she is being nursed by our public relations people until we can medivac her to Singapore. The incident before was a perfectly understandable misunderstanding. You see when I explained that there was a disabled person yet to board ... the hostess understood that to mean 'disable door' ... at which point the disabled lady was still attached to the exterior of the aircraft during takeoff. You know how these things happen ...... and as I've explained, she's got both feet firmly back on terra firma in safe hands. I'm monitoring events and assured medical crews will arrive any time - and our PR team are just great ... ah ... so, settle in. We've got a little less weight on board now, so we might even pick up a few of those lost minutes ... I'll check in a bit later and let you what the sky looks like from up here. On behalf of the First Engineer Neer and the rest of the crew, I'd like to wish you a relaxing journey .....[5 minutes later] ... pfft ... pfft ... Sorry, it's Captain Ravin here again. It has been pointed out to me ... when I said our pasenger has both feet back on terra firma, well, that was just a turn of phrase. We are very conscious of disabled people. So, there was absolutely no offense ... and you may have heard mention of a certain website that takes a rather light hearted poke at the airline. I guess most of you have read it ... I've read it ... he he .. some funny stuff there. All made up, of course - those clowns. Anyway, I'm sure we needn't mention today .. to them. Yes, thanks. Listen, I'm shouting you all an Ovaltine and a sugar donut. Ok. Better get back to the flying this baby then. Thanks ...."[A.Horribilis: We'd hasten to add that this is a parody story and to the best of our knowledge no incident involving a disabled person has ever occurred on a flight. This probably doesn't come as a surprise to many of you considering the airlines' track record with disabled people - it wasn't too long ago they couldn't fly at all. Then, nothing seems to have changed too much. Anyway, if you have questions for Cockpit Confessions hosts Captain Ravi and Engineer Neer, use the New CHAT feature - starboard side. You can chat to other passengers too. We're so hi-tech, we'd give AA a run for their money!]

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