Saturday, 24 November 2007

It's a rummmble in the jungle ... [LONG ARTICLE, BUT THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE MUST READ]


'The Champ'



'We all prostitute ourselves'



'I'm an insult to Asians'

Travel to America to engage in 251 sex acts with 70 men over a ten hour period, or fly into the wild blue yonder to spread the Malaysian love?

As a contributor to this website and lead on this piece, I feel I should let readers know that I am Malay. But first, I am Malaysian. Accordingly, I would like to begin by insulting Singaporeans. I'm joking. Many Causeway Co-Op live in that charmed, progressive city.

Who is the most famous person
to emerge from Singapore?

It is arguably one Annabel Chong - famous porn actress who did the business with no less than 52 men in just one 10 hour sitting for The World's Biggest Gang Bang. Tony's also done a hell of a lot of on-camera work. He and his airline are the new face of Malaysia.

Do we want Tony Fernandes to be the Annabell Chong of our country? It's happening. That Air Asia - far more internationally visible than Petronas - is allowed by Malaysia's people and government to act like a Al Capone at a swingers' party is our bad karma. Let's not forget it paints us as rogues on the world stage. Through inaction, by default we allow AA to 'represent' us.

It's sad that Cyberjaya is lampooned, because Air Asia can't manage to return unclaimed monies and paint themselves as IT Neanderthals into the bargain - add the fact that questionable practices don't raise the ire of the authorities after we raised the red flag.

Malaysia is the target of more ridicule as Air Asia claim high safety and purport civic responsibility, while pilots are treated like indentured prostitutes in Calcutta and the disabled are outcasts. The excuse of legislation being applied in other countries and inferring we can act under a different set of rules to the rest of the world is shameful.

Yet again, let's revisit one of Dr Mahathir's final addresses to the people. I am not alone in being embarrassed that it was beamed to a global audience - and that is with no disrespect to the politician. He was right. To paraphrase, a deal of his speech became a lecture regards Malaysian malaise and the corruption and disintegration of values. I cringe when I think of Zainuddin Maidin, under Dr Mahathir, banning Brad Pitt

"We canceled the ads because they were considered an insult to Asians. Why must we use their faces in our advertisements? Aren't our own people handsome enough?"

Zainuddin Maidin

There for all the world to see. And didn't the global press jump on that story!!! Oh, for the love of God. Is it any wonder we're seen as backward, village idiots and/or fundamentalist extremists?

[ED: Pretty boy and western cultural imperialist Brad Pitt is currently spearheading the rebuilding of New Orleans, appealing for international aid to help tens of thousands of displaced Iraqis and donating huge sums to charity - and doesn't have time to comment on the following, the US$25 million Malaysia spent to study teh tarik in space. Nor do the tsunami victims.]

And I make you feel inferior, do I?

After the tsunami hit our 'brothers' in Indonesia, which country contributed the
most financial aid?

You won't find Malaysia listed. We had already earmarked our community chest for something more Muslim, more deserving ...

Astro Boy
& "Mr Glove".

'The Russian Federal Space Agency offers any individual or government an opportunity to visit the ISS for USD25 million. The government that becomes the customer can decide whether to call the man and/or women sent to the space station an "astronaut" or a "space tourist". The Malaysian government decided to call its candidate an "astronaut" and assigned him activities to perform, which makes him an astronaut rather than a space tourist.' [ED: Activities like making tea.] ' These third world astronaut programs are being implemented in order to promote the country' image internationally and to provide confidence and pride to its people.'

The Symbiotic Relationship between Astronaut Program and Space Tourism Development - A Third World Perspective -
Presented at 2nd IAASS Conference, Chicago, 14 May 2007

From New Scientist -

"The astronauts will also learn how to conduct research and experiments in space, such as an examination of the space-behaviour of Malaysia's favourite beverage, a sweet concoction of tea and condensed milk, called teh tarik. The astronauts said the inclusion of teh tarik would showcase Malaysian culture and lend a unique Malaysian flavour to the mission. Russia agreed in 2003 to send a Malaysian to the space station as part of a billion-dollar deal to sell 18 Sukhoi 30-MKM fighter jets to Malaysia.' 'Malaysia, a Muslim-majority nation, hopes the space project will be an inspiration for Muslims across the globe and recall the glory days of Islamic science and discovery. [Ed: Oh, the glory of it all. I'm ashamed to call myself a Malaysian today.]

Let's talk about our national identity! In the world's eyes we're lumped in with the lynch mob who wanted to string a school teacher up for innocently calling a teddy bear by the Prophet's name. We're the same guys who want to whip a girl to within an inch of her life for being gang raped. Oh. That's not us!

Would someone kindly define Malaysian
values! Is it a burping and farting of Boleh echoing in factories and workplaces that produce on par and nothing more? Is it bad service delivered with a gob of phlegm? Is it endemic corruption? Is it that a young man's sole ambition is making his bike's exhaust so illegal it makes eardrums bleed? It all surrounds apathy -

Example: the simple fact that Google Analytics shows the length of stay for the audience of this Fly Air Asia? Not Me site amounts to around 13-15 minutes among Thais and Singaporeans [that was before today's article was published], down to 6-9 minutes for Australians and countries as far afield as Sweden. And a good many come back again and again. On average, retarded attention Malaysians devote 00:02:10 minutes to finding out what's going on here - and presumably not much more about the world around them. The average United States visitor stays longer at 00:03:24. Anyone who has watched Jay Lenno hit the streets of NYC to vox pop pedestrians about current affairs can see that stat is alarming.

Malaysia is just too damned apathetic to care about its global reputation. As a Malaysian I see that our 'national carrier' [Is there another?] can make us shine, or it can make us ... sleep because we don't give a darn. I could care less about football and Formula One when it comes at the expense of the disabled, or funded by what many people consider dubious practices. Elsewhere in this website, the author points to Malaysia's lax legislation, jingoism and falling back on developing status to shrug off criticism. Rather than being ashamed, Air Asia write about the latter in a press release and publish it on their website!

Does the shiny red paint and noisy engine on the flying machine dazzle us like a stun-grenade so we can't protest how people in wheelchairs continue to be treated as 'in-valids'? Is Tony's tinnitus-like self promotion actually biting, or is it just plain boring? If so, is it actually a diversionary technique to have us nod off to any mention of Air Asia?

Hey, wake up Malaysia. The rest of the world are paying attention. They tell us so.
No prizes for guessing where we get the least email from. We're not proud enough to really care that Air Asia shames us? Aren't Asians famous for not wanting to lose face?

With the law the way it is
in Malaysia, one doesn't need
to be above it.

Al 'Scarface' Capone

No - we're not suggesting that Tony Fernandes is involved in organised crime, a gentleman mobster or anything of the sort. Nor do we think he is a gentleman.

I can see the lawyers saying, 'Bingo! We've finally got the little delinquents.' No. With the law the way it is in Malaysia, frankly one doesn't need to be above it. I think there is a certain irony that when Charles Lindbergh performed his famous transatlantic flight in 1927, Capone was the first to shake his hand upon his arrival in Chicago.

Tony Fernandes is a pioneering 'Lindbergh' to many. Malaysian politics is 'Scarface' Capone, shaking his hand while the world watches on. It's legal and there for all to see. But nobody feels entirely comfortable or knows quite where to look.

Read this website from top to bottom! Air Asia have. The embarrassed PR people are shuffling your letters that condemn their practices - but doing nothing. When is Air Asia going to answer its critics? It's not. We've repeatedly requested that they refute our claims. We've openly offered to give them some good PR - that their staff seem unwilling to offer. No comment. No cease and desist letter. No hit men. No defense.

We've grown way too big for any action other than affirmative action. Notwithstanding that, if it weren't for witnessing the passion of Malaysian Bloggers, we'd question if the country's telecommunications were down. They've indicated a welcome swing toward political and social change - and a hard rain is going to fall on any government or corporation that thinks that they're going to sweep groups like us under the carpet.

The chap that started this did Malaysia a service. And I think he'll be remembered for making a difference where Malaysia's hierarchically crippled system slept.

Like I said, Air Asia is flying into Europe and Australia, with more countries on the way. We can either seize this opportunity to improve our atrocious image or we can become a truly global laughing stock.
I predict huge changes. Air Asia is going to be a great citizen in the near future. Not voluntarily. Not because they sponsor a football team. Because people are going to boycott Malaysia as a tourist destination - the government and the people of our fine land will have to finally stop turning a blind eye.

Have a happy holiday everyone.

'Eye in the Sky'

and The Malaysian Chapter of
The Causeway Co-Op:

'Bangsar''Engineer Neer' 'Chen' 'XXX'
'Tea Anyone?' 'Spock' 'Elves' 'Proton'
'Tony2Phase' and an infestation of roaches.

For the record - and not that it should really matter - the Causeway Co-Op has a greater percentage of Malaysians than all the other membership put together. So please do not be tempted to complain that we Malaysians are being picked on unfairly. We are picking on those that pick on others and deserve it.

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