Thursday, 13 December 2007

Another Award for Air Asia

Air Asia .... Tiger ... Jetstar Asia

Historical Ontime Performance Ratings Jan 15, 2008 through Mar 15, 2008

Jaunting Jetstar Asia

Abysmal Air Asia

Trying Hard Tiger

Yes, you've seen that snappy little logo all over their ads and on the website. Naturally, they didn't mention that their low-cost Airline Award was only for Asia - and not the significant award - when you consider direct competitor Jetstar won the World's Best Low-Cost Airline in the same World Airline Awards. That's the same Jetstar that is flying a good many of the same routes that Air Asia fly across Asia. Jetstar also picked up the World's Best Low-Cost Airline Australia/Pacific. So, together across both awards Jetstar beat out AirBerlin, EasyJet, Virgin Blue, FreedomAir and a hundred or so others. You could safely include Airline of The Year - Air Asia somewhere down that list.

In the comparative examples above, Air Asia are flying
less than half the flights than Jetstar with its exemplary 99% record - and Jetstar manages a minuscule 4 cancellations and 3 excessively late flights. Is there something wrong with Air Asia's aircraft? Are they unable to find spare parts? Are their crew overworked and sleeping through their wake-up calls? Is their booking system malfunctioning? Wow - 67 canceled flights! And 112 flights that span from 'late' to 'excessively late'. Hello! What's this?

Yes, the second gong, the Airline of the Year from CAPA award - the
Centre for Asia Pacific Aviation ( is "a specialist information and data services group focused on the aviation industry in the Asia Pacific region". That is the award that is so proudly atop Tony's mantelpiece. Air Asia did win our Global Bunch of Clowns Award

Further Reading -

Refunds Ripoff.

Disabled Sponsor F1 & Football Team

Bend the truth. Whip the pilot.

Advertising - Malaysia!

Annabele Chong & Tony Fernandes

Fair fares? No.

Air Asia Passengers Stranded by Air Asia X


- The Star Online

Considering the latest figures released today, Air Asia has got a considerable amount of work to do before it can be taken seriously. What we have shown here amounts to an business that is is consistently economical with the truth and patently nowhere near international standards organisationally. Unless you think that many cancellations are acceptable from an airline that is arguably representative of Malaysia than Petronas.

“AirAsia is a strong brand and an airline that has managed to create a market for itself. It has gone beyond Malaysia’s borders and would continue to carry the Malaysian flag to more countries,” Tony Fernandes.

Other than this StarBiz 'news article' restating the history of Air Asia, and Tony's usual bluff and bluster - this extremely sycophantic article draws all sorts of bizarre comparisons between Coke and Air Asia; Singapore Airlines and Air Asia and tells us to expect the brand on billboards and watches. It is! How amazing to see such drivel, particularly as The Star Online was the newspaper that broke - albeit
very quietly - the news about Air Asia withholding refunds [here] that rightfully belong to its passengers - claiming it does not have the capability of crediting the customers' account. It's sad to see ad revenue take precedence over a follow up - because Air Asia is still holding onto a vast amount of money which isn't theirs. The Star were also made aware of the Boycott Malaysia campaign in the not too distant past. Still, it's good to hear that rags to riches story again.

Is Air Asia going to suggest that due to unforeseen circumstances they encountered sixty more instances of bad luck than Tiger and Jetstar? Or will they admit to aborting scheduled flights that didn't rake enough passengers, offloading them to fill later flights? If this is not a breach of contract, then it is certainly an ethical one. This is illegal.

Presuming Air Asia claims it is not treating customers like dirt, it raises more serious questions, not least of which is safety. Let's assume a flight gets aborted when it is significantly under half-full. By our estimations that amounts to roughly 4000+ people per month on average that paid for a flight, only to find it was aborted by Air Asia. Disappearing with each aircraft went whatever holiday plans, reunions, business meetings, connecting flights - and the occasional dying relative - that awaited each passenger at their destination.

So, just how well is Air Asia
carrying Malaysia's flag?


Full Report

Sunday, 2 December 2007

"Now Everyone Can Fry" Promotion?

You cannot make stuff like this up [You'd get thrown in jail]. These classic screen-caps from the front page today, Dec 3, offering a disturbing prophesy? After years in the ad game, I tend to second guess the client and predict 'client-like' questions. I'm going to be the client today, pecking away at the brand aura - just for fun.

Top left,
perilously low, AirAsia 666 counts its final seconds - a hopeless emergency landing after hydraulic failure saw the Michelins' fail to drop [ED: I didn't add the shadow or alter the photo in any way]. Top right, I am seeing an Air Asia flight heading toward a distant skyscraper; The 2007 building is like a magnet. [Airline of the Year?? It must be a mirage*] And just to hammer home the point, a gang of wild-eyed jihadists - masquerading as maintenance men with only a huge bang in mind [those vestal virgins eagerly waiting 'on the other side']. 'Fly Air Asia? Not Me' is excruciatingly critical of Air Asia at times. So, I just thought we'd start the week with a gentle FaceBook-like poke.

and ... that ... is going to
be your last meal! I will
take my chances with the
emergency landing -at
least there's a glimmer
of hope I might survive.

'Hairspray Overdose'

Let's assume your flight misses the skyscraper - it turns out the threatening lads' in yellow were the steward's man-pals and actually a wholesome boy-band who wouldn't hurt a soul; the aircraft didn't break up during the 200kmh belly landing and slid gently to rest against the soft bosom of a Air Asia staffer. There's no need to panic. Keeping a cool head just comes naturally to some ... [Well, it seems that this genteel young man's video came to the attention of Air Asia's Management and was promptly removed. Fortunately, we are left with a screen cap. In a nutshell, the trainee got into such a heightened state of hysteria during his emergency drill, his indiscernible screeching and flapping would have caused widespread panic and confusion in the event of a real emergency. Hence the original title, as one might be forgiven he was sky high on ... God only knows. We will be far more careful in future with our videos, as we have been from the start documenting online evidence, which often disappears like scheduled flights. Jolly old shame really, because it would have made you pee your pants.]

[Voting:'Hairspray Overdose?'] We'd love to hear more from our overworked and under appreciated friends within AA. This one from 'FDTaO' - 'Taken while performing door drill/ emergency evacuation for Airbus 320 at AirAsia Academy, Kuala lumpur'. Well, many thanks to you and we hope that it's still as much fun. We liked your singing in the other video!

Captain Ravi & First Engineer Neer - We're Alive!!

"Testing ... testing ... one-two-three ... pffft ... pfft. Hello ladies & gentlemen. My name is Captain Ravin Labang and welcome to Flight 666 to KL. I'm sure you'll all need a donut and a coffee after that little bit of excitement. We do apologise for the delay. I am assured that the lady is fine. Frostbite sounds far more serious than it is - and she is being nursed by our public relations people until we can medivac her to Singapore. The incident before was a perfectly understandable misunderstanding. You see when I explained that there was a disabled person yet to board ... the hostess understood that to mean 'disable door' ... at which point the disabled lady was still attached to the exterior of the aircraft during takeoff. You know how these things happen ...... and as I've explained, she's got both feet firmly back on terra firma in safe hands. I'm monitoring events and assured medical crews will arrive any time - and our PR team are just great ... ah ... so, settle in. We've got a little less weight on board now, so we might even pick up a few of those lost minutes ... I'll check in a bit later and let you what the sky looks like from up here. On behalf of the First Engineer Neer and the rest of the crew, I'd like to wish you a relaxing journey .....[5 minutes later] ... pfft ... pfft ... Sorry, it's Captain Ravin here again. It has been pointed out to me ... when I said our pasenger has both feet back on terra firma, well, that was just a turn of phrase. We are very conscious of disabled people. So, there was absolutely no offense ... and you may have heard mention of a certain website that takes a rather light hearted poke at the airline. I guess most of you have read it ... I've read it ... he he .. some funny stuff there. All made up, of course - those clowns. Anyway, I'm sure we needn't mention today .. to them. Yes, thanks. Listen, I'm shouting you all an Ovaltine and a sugar donut. Ok. Better get back to the flying this baby then. Thanks ...."[A.Horribilis: We'd hasten to add that this is a parody story and to the best of our knowledge no incident involving a disabled person has ever occurred on a flight. This probably doesn't come as a surprise to many of you considering the airlines' track record with disabled people - it wasn't too long ago they couldn't fly at all. Then, nothing seems to have changed too much. Anyway, if you have questions for Cockpit Confessions hosts Captain Ravi and Engineer Neer, use the New CHAT feature - starboard side. You can chat to other passengers too. We're so hi-tech, we'd give AA a run for their money!]

Saturday, 1 December 2007

Sir Frank Williams gives you " Branding Bloopers IV - When Airlines Attack"

Air Asia sponsor Williams F1 Team.

Nigel Mansel and Sir Frank Williams
- and his wheelchair -

But at what cost?

Service Charges! Screen-cap Dec 2nd '07

What would Sir Frank Williams
to say about Air Asia's
treatment of the disabled?

Give 'em a Wedgie!!!!

What better way make Air Asia's brass to stand up and pay attention? Let them experience that it's not at all fun being glued to a seat. This is not a violent protest, and makes Bill Gates' cream pie look like an assassination. It is not an affront .... rather more a behind.

Instead of a small child being ignored and tugging on their parent's shirt tail, using the same force we simply apply an upwards tug to Tony's Calvin's.
Roll up, walk up, sneak-up ... and give them all wedgies. Once Air Asia's people have been suitably embarrassed in front of their peers and the press and well-wedged, we get sensible. As this previous post shows, there is a serious reason ...

Background links on Air Asia's policy toward the other four wheelers,
which goes far deeper than simply charging for wheelchairs:

Let's all add some weight and lean on the Air Asia's of this world for the 'wheelies'. All that sets these guys and girls apart is they're sat in a wheelchair. That's it. The same position able bodied people hold all day at the office or plonked in front of television. It strikes me that the last thing that they want is to be singled out for special attention. They simply want to be afforded the same respect that you or I get when we are standing as when we're in a chair. The only extraordinary treatment they receive from Air Asia is that they are quite clearly an inconvenience. They are catered for purely due to political correctness and public pressure. Peter's letter above shows that Air Asia must still have an appetite for public pressure. As you may have gathered, we're up for it. Personally, it will be a pleasure to give Tony a wedgie.
Peter Tan's blog [link] regarding Air Asia's
track record is a must read.

Tony-Two-Phase astride the the William's F1

[Photograph Air Asia public domain press release; lead photo BBC online]


5th Annual Asia-Pacific

Low Cost Airline [+Wedgie] Congress

22nd - 24th of January

Suntec Convention Center, Singapore