Saturday, 24 November 2007

A.Horribilis Award for Airline Anarchy

We loved the "I'm as mad as Hell, and I'm not gonna take
this anymore!" attitude of these lion-hearted passengers.

WE NORMALLY RESERVE OUR SCORN EXCLUSIVELY FOR AIR ASIA ... but we had to hurriedly create a new award in recognition of these passengers who epitomise the spirit of everything we represent.

It's Christmas lah. 'Tis the season for more family disharmony, separations and suicides than at any other time of year. Now, if it had been Air Asia in this situation they would have handled things pretty much as badly - only they would have switched the lights off too. This video from Scott & Adeline is in the running for the video awards '08* [Vote 'Tiger Time']. We think they 100% deserve to be in the mix, although it's not AA.

As to the A.Horribilis Award for Airline Anarchy, do we give it to the Singaporean ex-national serviceman or the Aussie? If points were awarded for volume - sounding like a 747 under hard braking - it must be the 'sheila'. We'll leave that up to our voters - as we try to work out how to get the winner a fun prize. Meanwhile, back to the griping. If you read the You Tube comments that accompany this video, you'll see that old chestnut 'you get what you pay for' cropping up again and again and again.

One must assume that some of these would be courtesy of the no-frills airline doing a bit of damage control [perhaps a few lessons in grammar would help their cause]. What really disturbs us are the private citizens who really believe it. Watch the video - and see that these passengers DID NOT GET WHAT THEY PAID FOR!

If you read this website, you will see that its reason for existence is because people have not been given what they paid for.
We at the Causeway Co-Op are sick of these brain challenged pedestrians that keep sprouting that ridiculous phrase. We will offer the first person who is prepared to put it in writing and provide a photograph of themselves, a free flight for two between Singapore and Malaysia. You will then be among thousands of other people that apparently share your views. Please note that it will be a one-way flight - and we require your passport for safekeeping after you arrive in KL.

If you need a little bit more information about your ultimate destination please follow this World's Biggest Gang Bang link.

Send your details to the 'I am a complete fucking idiot competition'. As we have said all along, the alternative airlines we offer at the top of this website are 'alternatives' and nothing more. The jury's out as to whether we remove Tiger. If you were on the flight, please let us know how this resolved itself - and we will update the story accordingly - send all emails to

* Voting for Video Awards '08 will start after current competition ends.

Air Asia is holding your money for safe keeping. They didn't mention it? You didn't know?

Air Asia EXPOSED - Part One

I watched a BBC TV article reporting that a European Commission study has found that airline websites commonly mislead the consumer. Hmmm ... now tell us something we didn't know.

The main infringements were false advertising and marketing: prices that did not include taxes and charges, "free" flights that were not free and nonexistent cheap seats. Sound familiar? Remarkably, opposition to Air Asia seems to have gone quiet. Perhaps it was as a result of a Malaysian government inquiry in '04 where the airline was given the 'all-clear' - according to a highlighted press release on AirAsia’s website.

Misrepresentation-interpretation Malaysian style.

Air Asia's typically aimless PR, post-tribunal:

"AirAsia’s advertisements are similar to those used by other low fares foreign airlines such as EasyJet, RyanAir and Virgin Blue, which are governed by stricter advertising guidelines in their respective countries."

So that's one rule for the rest of the civilized world and a watered down one for Malaysia? It is not unusual for some commentators in Malaysia to fall back on its 'developing nation' status - I'll never forget Dr M's parting shots in his final address to the world - but using it in regard to ethics? I hope you didn't miss the bit about their highest fare still being 20% less than full-service airlines. You decide if cut-price Air Asia is worth the pain.

The upshot of the European Commission? Its laws state that it is illegal for airlines to leave airport taxes, fuel fees and other charges off their advertised fares. Let's not even go there with Air Asia. I can just hear it: "Steady on there! The information's there in the copy." No, it's your bog standard 'fine print' - and there shouldn't be fine print.

Air Asia X ... or Air Asia Y?

If a flight costs $X then tell it as it is!

At the end of the day, we must respect the Malaysian tribunal, the tight packed envelope of Datos' saw nothing at all suspicious or untoward. Bottom line is that Air Asia brings bags of this to the table ... as in, to the Malaysian economy. I would hasten to add, I am not inferring impropriety. Not Malaysia!

No punishment? No caution?
How about no pudding and
early to bed?

Anyway, I started thinking about money and how it corrupts. Ever wondered what happens to those taxes
and surcharges when we miss a flight? [The extras that make your free flights not free.] As usual, I jumped on the Net. It took a hell of lot of finding, but there it was.

[.. to be continued]

It's a rummmble in the jungle ... [LONG ARTICLE, BUT THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE MUST READ]


'The Champ'



'We all prostitute ourselves'



'I'm an insult to Asians'

Travel to America to engage in 251 sex acts with 70 men over a ten hour period, or fly into the wild blue yonder to spread the Malaysian love?

As a contributor to this website and lead on this piece, I feel I should let readers know that I am Malay. But first, I am Malaysian. Accordingly, I would like to begin by insulting Singaporeans. I'm joking. Many Causeway Co-Op live in that charmed, progressive city.

Who is the most famous person
to emerge from Singapore?

It is arguably one Annabel Chong - famous porn actress who did the business with no less than 52 men in just one 10 hour sitting for The World's Biggest Gang Bang. Tony's also done a hell of a lot of on-camera work. He and his airline are the new face of Malaysia.

Do we want Tony Fernandes to be the Annabell Chong of our country? It's happening. That Air Asia - far more internationally visible than Petronas - is allowed by Malaysia's people and government to act like a Al Capone at a swingers' party is our bad karma. Let's not forget it paints us as rogues on the world stage. Through inaction, by default we allow AA to 'represent' us.

It's sad that Cyberjaya is lampooned, because Air Asia can't manage to return unclaimed monies and paint themselves as IT Neanderthals into the bargain - add the fact that questionable practices don't raise the ire of the authorities after we raised the red flag.

Malaysia is the target of more ridicule as Air Asia claim high safety and purport civic responsibility, while pilots are treated like indentured prostitutes in Calcutta and the disabled are outcasts. The excuse of legislation being applied in other countries and inferring we can act under a different set of rules to the rest of the world is shameful.

Yet again, let's revisit one of Dr Mahathir's final addresses to the people. I am not alone in being embarrassed that it was beamed to a global audience - and that is with no disrespect to the politician. He was right. To paraphrase, a deal of his speech became a lecture regards Malaysian malaise and the corruption and disintegration of values. I cringe when I think of Zainuddin Maidin, under Dr Mahathir, banning Brad Pitt

"We canceled the ads because they were considered an insult to Asians. Why must we use their faces in our advertisements? Aren't our own people handsome enough?"

Zainuddin Maidin

There for all the world to see. And didn't the global press jump on that story!!! Oh, for the love of God. Is it any wonder we're seen as backward, village idiots and/or fundamentalist extremists?

[ED: Pretty boy and western cultural imperialist Brad Pitt is currently spearheading the rebuilding of New Orleans, appealing for international aid to help tens of thousands of displaced Iraqis and donating huge sums to charity - and doesn't have time to comment on the following, the US$25 million Malaysia spent to study teh tarik in space. Nor do the tsunami victims.]

And I make you feel inferior, do I?

After the tsunami hit our 'brothers' in Indonesia, which country contributed the
most financial aid?

You won't find Malaysia listed. We had already earmarked our community chest for something more Muslim, more deserving ...

Astro Boy
& "Mr Glove".

'The Russian Federal Space Agency offers any individual or government an opportunity to visit the ISS for USD25 million. The government that becomes the customer can decide whether to call the man and/or women sent to the space station an "astronaut" or a "space tourist". The Malaysian government decided to call its candidate an "astronaut" and assigned him activities to perform, which makes him an astronaut rather than a space tourist.' [ED: Activities like making tea.] ' These third world astronaut programs are being implemented in order to promote the country' image internationally and to provide confidence and pride to its people.'

The Symbiotic Relationship between Astronaut Program and Space Tourism Development - A Third World Perspective -
Presented at 2nd IAASS Conference, Chicago, 14 May 2007

From New Scientist -

"The astronauts will also learn how to conduct research and experiments in space, such as an examination of the space-behaviour of Malaysia's favourite beverage, a sweet concoction of tea and condensed milk, called teh tarik. The astronauts said the inclusion of teh tarik would showcase Malaysian culture and lend a unique Malaysian flavour to the mission. Russia agreed in 2003 to send a Malaysian to the space station as part of a billion-dollar deal to sell 18 Sukhoi 30-MKM fighter jets to Malaysia.' 'Malaysia, a Muslim-majority nation, hopes the space project will be an inspiration for Muslims across the globe and recall the glory days of Islamic science and discovery. [Ed: Oh, the glory of it all. I'm ashamed to call myself a Malaysian today.]

Let's talk about our national identity! In the world's eyes we're lumped in with the lynch mob who wanted to string a school teacher up for innocently calling a teddy bear by the Prophet's name. We're the same guys who want to whip a girl to within an inch of her life for being gang raped. Oh. That's not us!

Would someone kindly define Malaysian
values! Is it a burping and farting of Boleh echoing in factories and workplaces that produce on par and nothing more? Is it bad service delivered with a gob of phlegm? Is it endemic corruption? Is it that a young man's sole ambition is making his bike's exhaust so illegal it makes eardrums bleed? It all surrounds apathy -

Example: the simple fact that Google Analytics shows the length of stay for the audience of this Fly Air Asia? Not Me site amounts to around 13-15 minutes among Thais and Singaporeans [that was before today's article was published], down to 6-9 minutes for Australians and countries as far afield as Sweden. And a good many come back again and again. On average, retarded attention Malaysians devote 00:02:10 minutes to finding out what's going on here - and presumably not much more about the world around them. The average United States visitor stays longer at 00:03:24. Anyone who has watched Jay Lenno hit the streets of NYC to vox pop pedestrians about current affairs can see that stat is alarming.

Malaysia is just too damned apathetic to care about its global reputation. As a Malaysian I see that our 'national carrier' [Is there another?] can make us shine, or it can make us ... sleep because we don't give a darn. I could care less about football and Formula One when it comes at the expense of the disabled, or funded by what many people consider dubious practices. Elsewhere in this website, the author points to Malaysia's lax legislation, jingoism and falling back on developing status to shrug off criticism. Rather than being ashamed, Air Asia write about the latter in a press release and publish it on their website!

Does the shiny red paint and noisy engine on the flying machine dazzle us like a stun-grenade so we can't protest how people in wheelchairs continue to be treated as 'in-valids'? Is Tony's tinnitus-like self promotion actually biting, or is it just plain boring? If so, is it actually a diversionary technique to have us nod off to any mention of Air Asia?

Hey, wake up Malaysia. The rest of the world are paying attention. They tell us so.
No prizes for guessing where we get the least email from. We're not proud enough to really care that Air Asia shames us? Aren't Asians famous for not wanting to lose face?

With the law the way it is
in Malaysia, one doesn't need
to be above it.

Al 'Scarface' Capone

No - we're not suggesting that Tony Fernandes is involved in organised crime, a gentleman mobster or anything of the sort. Nor do we think he is a gentleman.

I can see the lawyers saying, 'Bingo! We've finally got the little delinquents.' No. With the law the way it is in Malaysia, frankly one doesn't need to be above it. I think there is a certain irony that when Charles Lindbergh performed his famous transatlantic flight in 1927, Capone was the first to shake his hand upon his arrival in Chicago.

Tony Fernandes is a pioneering 'Lindbergh' to many. Malaysian politics is 'Scarface' Capone, shaking his hand while the world watches on. It's legal and there for all to see. But nobody feels entirely comfortable or knows quite where to look.

Read this website from top to bottom! Air Asia have. The embarrassed PR people are shuffling your letters that condemn their practices - but doing nothing. When is Air Asia going to answer its critics? It's not. We've repeatedly requested that they refute our claims. We've openly offered to give them some good PR - that their staff seem unwilling to offer. No comment. No cease and desist letter. No hit men. No defense.

We've grown way too big for any action other than affirmative action. Notwithstanding that, if it weren't for witnessing the passion of Malaysian Bloggers, we'd question if the country's telecommunications were down. They've indicated a welcome swing toward political and social change - and a hard rain is going to fall on any government or corporation that thinks that they're going to sweep groups like us under the carpet.

The chap that started this did Malaysia a service. And I think he'll be remembered for making a difference where Malaysia's hierarchically crippled system slept.

Like I said, Air Asia is flying into Europe and Australia, with more countries on the way. We can either seize this opportunity to improve our atrocious image or we can become a truly global laughing stock.
I predict huge changes. Air Asia is going to be a great citizen in the near future. Not voluntarily. Not because they sponsor a football team. Because people are going to boycott Malaysia as a tourist destination - the government and the people of our fine land will have to finally stop turning a blind eye.

Have a happy holiday everyone.

'Eye in the Sky'

and The Malaysian Chapter of
The Causeway Co-Op:

'Bangsar''Engineer Neer' 'Chen' 'XXX'
'Tea Anyone?' 'Spock' 'Elves' 'Proton'
'Tony2Phase' and an infestation of roaches.

For the record - and not that it should really matter - the Causeway Co-Op has a greater percentage of Malaysians than all the other membership put together. So please do not be tempted to complain that we Malaysians are being picked on unfairly. We are picking on those that pick on others and deserve it.

Air Asia Exposed - Part Two.

Press Release. More a case of
when pressed ... whisper!

Shhhhhh! AirAsia will refund
airport tax on unused tickets

KUALA LUMPUR: AirAsia passengers who did not board their flights will be refunded on airport tax but not on fuel surcharge. “AirAsia is a low-cost airline and the bulk of its ticket sales are purchased online, some for even 11 months ahead of the traveling date. Due to the high volume of passengers, it is not easy for us to track the number of no-show passengers,” said its executive vice-president (commercial) Kathleen Tan in a reply via e-mail. The airline advises passengers who want to claim any refund to contact its guest support team at 603 8660 4388 (from 9am to 6pm daily) or by e-mailing to “But our policy on no-refund on the fuel surcharge remains unchanged,'' Tan added. On the reduced airport tax, she said AirAsia's online booking would reflect the new rates from June 1. “We are happy with the reduced airport tax. However, we believe that it could be lower. As we do not want to burden our passengers, we hope that cost will be exempted totally,” she added.

Kathleen Tan and her assertion that due to the high volume of passengers, 'it is not easy' for Air Asia to track the no-show passengers ... to return their money. So, do nothing!

"Air Asia's customers get a ticket via this Internet machine ... and they then get sent ... you call it email?? Fantastic! Gee whiz that's a sci-fi development, Wilbur. What if they are due a refund? I see, so they haven't cracked the technology for that yet. Cyberjaya for lunch?"

If any language can make something sound beautiful, even sexy, it's Francais. Let's run Air Asia's Executive Vice President through the BS Detector: “AirAsia est une ligne aérienne peu coûteuse et la majeure partie de ses ventes de billet sont achetées en ligne, certains pendant de même 11 mois en avant de la date de déplacement. “ ;En raison du volume élevé de passagers, il n'est pas facile pour nous de dépister le nombre de passagers discrets,” Non! Sorry - No. Our French fans inform us it sounds the same in French. What was the exact word they used, "Merde"? I'll need to check the BS Detector for that one!!

I'd like to offer Kathleen some advice, even though I'm not an IT guy. In my experience when a person arrives at your check-in counter, a staff member enters those passenger details into your computer system, right? And when that passenger booked his/her ticket, you sent them an email itinerary, yes? [Not in my case!] Subtract the number of cattle that didn’t go up the chute, by those that did! Voila! There you have it - you might then inform absentees via that email that you have their money - direct debit!

No? Why?

This refund-revelation - was Air Asia's response to, rather than offered - comes courtesy of The Star. Try to find the article without clicking the link below. Try to find any announcement! I checked Air Asia's terms & conditions - the fine print and the even finer print. I've missed a few flights with AA - and nobody ever called me and offered to return my money. They must be 'babysitting' a lot of cash. All in it amounts to about US$50 per passenger per missed flight. 99% of my fellow pushovers never thought to claim. Factor in the menagerie of extortionate penalty charges - anything from ludicrous amounts on excess luggage [well, 'excess' on AA] to charging disabled passengers $US5 to use a wheelchair [I thought they'd stopped that nowadays* see below!] and a dozen punishable offenses. Shameful.

This isn't misrepresentation. What is it? I mean, what would you classify it as? Let's say a bank - Your Trusted Bank - concocts the excuse that its infrastructure is incapable of performing a simple task of keeping a record of its accounts. Sure, it's a baseless claim in an age where computers can land an aircraft. Instead of rectifying the situation, when pressed you make an inane statement to the media that 'it is not easy' returning the customers' dosh. So, what do you do? It's quicker to pocket the money - for safekeeping mind. There is a word for this ...

The onus to discover that their property is unaccounted for is on Trusted Bank's customer. As luck would have it, one in a thousand notice their money is missing. Naturally they are entitled to have it back. But first they'll get the runaround. Has he got ID? Does he have the statement? Keep him waiting on the phone, then disconnect the call. When he calls back, he gets another 'customer support' member- start the story again.

Now, let's try the same with Trusted Air Asia. I cannot see Air Asia's Kathleen furnishing us with the figures of how many suckers don't claim, but we'll fire her off a note. Instead of discovering the Trusted Bank skimming off the top, where you'd immediately close your account and maybe even have a chat to the constabulary, Air Asia's official line is they can't find you easily. I guess they just keep your money, until it comes to you in a dream.

But somehow Air Asia's crap service has led to this one limp excuse I keep reading over and over on many travel-related forums where legions are people are dissatisfied, when Diane Dimwit or Dwayne Pimplepot pipe up, "Orrr, yeah, but you get what you pay for." That is a US$50 sack of horse manure. That attitude must have leased another five jets.

The new Causeway Co-Operative team are taking over the Fly Air Asia? Not Me reigns [as today's it for this old boy due to non-insane non-raving non-committal-commitments ]. Why Causeway Co-Op? It's an easy one, roughly half the disgruntled are in KL and the other half in Singapore. The blogging thing is second nature to them - as is law, finance, marketing and other forms of prostitution - and they make my teeth look blunt.

In so many instances of people being completely dissatisfied - I have a dossier three inches thick - people just say they get nowhere with "Guest Support" and they give up. Then there are the few that sharpen the aforementioned fangs. Any 'service' oriented business expects certain levels of attrition, 99.9% of complainants will give up anyway. The problem with that theory? They see the remainder, the vocal minority, as being as effective a Peter Finch screaming 'I've had enough and I'm not going to take it anymore!!' out of his window, not blogging.

The case-file or case-disc is a living, breathing thing. Let's hear from anyone who missed a flight and didn't miss their money until they read this today - and particularly anybody who has had difficulty getting what is rightfully yours from those to which it does not belong.

I have a great friend from Singapore who must miss more flights that he makes. I'm seriously talking in the hundreds. You're not going to have a boarding pass, of course. You've got a diary, emails that are easily searched and grouped, and your credit card receipts. Let's say it amounts to $50, $100 or $1000+. More people that spread the word the better.

While the airline industry over in Europe is getting its house in order, Air Asia might like to occupy the vacancy that is on the next step up the ladder ... and the step above that ... climbing huffing and harking until it gets its act together.

Malaysia's Pride makes Aeroflot look
sexier than Singapore Airlines.
- Air Asia press release, screen-cap from website Nov 25th ‘07
- BBC article

Air Investigators.
Hidden Cost Prize Giveaway.
Find the words 'Hidden Cost' on this
website and you'll go into the Grand Prize
draw for a flight [2pax] to any Air Asia
destination. Frankly, you've got a better
chance here. Email us the location,
and you're in the draw.
Good luck!

Please type 'Hidden Cost' on the email header to

Another Air Asia Expose! Boycott Malaysia

One flight.
Two sets of values.
Smells like Air Asia.
Boycott Malaysia!

Parts 1 & 2

Thai Air Asia
is 49% Thai owned and we are all for supporting Thailand - particularly as Thais are getting hit by this [find out why below!]. Please check out the links to Thailand here on the site - and visit one of the most beautiful and friendly countries in the world. There's a far better solution ...

If you wish to stage a protest
, might we recommend looking to the Malaysian government. If you feel that Air Asia's treatment of passengers, the disabled and the disadvantaged who are not in a position to defend themselves against a greedy corporation BOYCOTT MALAYSIA tourism - let's see how quickly the Prime Minister slaps Air Asia into line. Fly Thai Air Asia, but fly it to anywhere but Malaysia! The airline has demonstrated its conscience - or lack thereof - and you can be sure it won't change voluntarily. Malaysians are good people and they won't take kindly to the disruption.

BTW - we didn't seriously think you'd want to be traveling Christmas day, no matter what God you fly with. The 25th was a good example. Next time you are flying - Air Asia or not - remember to send the Malaysian government a message ..

They're sure to pass it
on to Air Asia.

This is Air Asia FD302 Singapore to Bangkok. If you were booking via Singapore, before fees & taxes, it would cost you
S$197. Whereas the uncharacteristically glum Thai guy sitting beside you, also flying out of Singapore, it would cost him S$238.

Air Asia's
website ....

= THB 5,509.70
= THB 5,758.38

= THB 11,358.25

Inc taxes & fees

Compare prices with Air Asia's Thai site ....

THB 5,509.70 = 6,535.00 ....
That seems fair, Air Asia!


And that's before the considerable added costs that appear out of thin air - which we notice Air Asia simply refer to as a gentler 'going out' and 'coming back' costs nowadays. We'll keep 'pointing out' their faults until they become responsible citizens.
Like we said, these two screen grabs are taken at the same moment - it is not a matter of the cheap seats being snapped up first come first served. Thais fund other people's tickets!

Can this be correct? We've said it many times and we'll say it again ... if Air Asia feel that our calculations are partly or wholly incorrect, we will not only retract this and apologise - we'll send them a turkey! It's just too fantastic. You think this is an isolated event? Power up Firefox and open in two tabs. Enter the site via two countries and check prices. There's no correlation with exchange rates. A ripoff. See for yourself!

All correspondence to -

Thailand Website

*Air Asia FD302 25th Dec flight S$238

Singapore Website

*Air Asia FD302 Sing-Bkk 25th Dec. S$197

* All prices before you get whacked by the taxes & fees

Air Asia is a big Malaysian corporation. Being based in one of the world's most populous Muslim nations - which doesn't celebrate Christmas on the whole - we felt we would see if Malaysians get the same holiday treatment as the Thais. No!
Well, would somebody let us know what in God's name the Thais did to deserve this!!!

BOYCOTT MALAYSIA! That's right, we encourage you to take your tourism dollar anywhere but that country. Let Malaysia know and Air Asia will soon get the message! Locals, you know what to do. There are alternative airlines too.

*Air Asia AK880 KL-Bkk 25th Dec. Malaysia website S$100.23

*Air Asia AK880 KL-Bkk 25th Dec. Thailand website S$120.79

The most expensive ex-Singapore flight is still S$40 less
than it costs Thais to fly the other way.

197.00 SGD


4,139.81 THB